What does FAST stand for in DBT?

FAST stands for Fair, no unnecessary Apologies, Stick to values, and Truthful. These four steps help you maintain your self-respect during interpersonal interactions, especially when there's pressure to compromise your integrity.

Can I use FAST and GIVE at the same time?

Yes. GIVE maintains the relationship; FAST maintains your self-respect. You can be gentle, interested, and validating (GIVE) while also being fair, honest, and value-aligned (FAST). They complement rather than conflict.

FAST Skill Worksheet

Q: When do I need the FAST skill?

Use FAST whenever you notice yourself over-apologizing, agreeing to things that conflict with your values, being dishonest to avoid conflict, or being unfair to yourself. It's especially useful in relationships where you tend to lose yourself.

Q: What if sticking to my values causes conflict?

Short-term conflict from being authentic is usually healthier than long-term resentment from betraying your values. FAST doesn't mean being rigid—it means knowing your non-negotiables and not abandoning them to please others.

This worksheet helps you practice the FAST skill from DBT interpersonal effectiveness. FAST protects your self-respect during conversations—especially situations where you're tempted to agree to things you don't mean, apologize for things that aren't your fault, or compromise your values to keep the peace.

Where DEAR MAN gets you what you want and GIVE preserves the relationship, FAST makes sure you can look at yourself in the mirror afterward.

How to Use This Worksheet

Before or after a difficult conversation, work through each step. FAST is especially useful as a post-conversation check—did I maintain my self-respect?

F — Fair: Be fair to yourself AND the other person. Don't bend over backward for them while ignoring your own needs. But also don't bulldoze their needs to serve your own.

Am I considering my needs as important as theirs?
Am I asking for more than what's reasonable?
Am I settling for less than what's reasonable?

A — Apologies: Don't over-apologize. Apologize for genuine wrongdoing. Don't apologize for having needs, having an opinion, or existing in a space.

Am I apologizing to reduce tension rather than for actual wrongdoing?
What am I actually sorry for versus what am I just uncomfortable about?
How many times have I said "sorry" so far in this conversation?

S — Stick to Values: Know your values before the conversation. Don't sell them for short-term approval.

What are my values in this situation? (Honesty, loyalty, boundaries, fairness?)
What would betraying those values look like?
What pressure am I feeling to abandon my values?

T — Truthful: Don't exaggerate, minimize, or lie. Don't pretend to be helpless to get sympathy. Don't pretend to agree when you don't.

Am I being honest about what I think and feel?
Am I exaggerating to make a point or minimizing to avoid conflict?
Am I pretending to agree to end the conversation faster?

Filled-Out Example

Situation: A friend asking me to lend them money for the third time, knowing they haven't paid back the first two loans.

Step	Entry
Fair	To myself: I've lent money twice without being repaid. It's fair to say no. To them: I won't shame them for asking or bring up the past loans as ammunition. I'll be factual.
Apologies	I notice I want to say "I'm so sorry, I really wish I could." But I'm not sorry for protecting my finances. I'll skip the sorry and be direct: "I'm not able to lend money right now."
Stick to values	My values: financial responsibility, honest friendships, not enabling. Betraying them would look like lending the money to avoid awkwardness and then resenting my friend.
Truthful	I won't make up an excuse ("I don't have the money") when the truth is "I've lent money twice and it wasn't repaid, so I'm not comfortable lending again." I can say this gently but honestly.

Post-conversation check:

Did I stay fair? Yes. Didn't attack, didn't cave.
Did I over-apologize? Said "I'm sorry" once—when I meant "I'm sorry this puts you in a tough spot," which was genuine.
Did I stick to my values? Yes. Said no despite the discomfort.
Was I truthful? Mostly. I was honest about my reasons without being cruel about it.

Common Mistakes

Confusing over-apologizing with politeness. Saying "sorry" before every sentence doesn't make you polite—it signals that your needs are less important. Reserve apologies for genuine wrongdoing.

Thinking "stick to values" means being inflexible. Values provide direction, not rigidity. You can compromise on specifics while maintaining your core principles. Flexibility is different from abandonment.

Being truthful as an excuse to be harsh. "I'm just being honest" is not a free pass for cruelty. Truthfulness combined with GIVE skills (gentle, interested, validating) is the goal.

Only using FAST for saying no. FAST also applies when saying yes—are you agreeing because you genuinely want to, or because you're people-pleasing? Self-respect includes being honest about your yeses too.

Digital Alternative

Self-respect erodes slowly—you often don't notice it happening until you feel resentful or disconnected from yourself. DBT Pal helps you track interpersonal interactions and check in on whether you're maintaining self-respect over time.

Track your interpersonal skills with DBT Pal

Download DBT Pal

Related Worksheets

DEAR MAN Worksheet — Getting what you want from conversations
GIVE Skill Worksheet — Maintaining relationships during difficult conversations
Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet — All three skills together

For printable worksheets, visit DBT Worksheets PDF Free.

FAQ

What does FAST stand for? Fair, no unnecessary Apologies, Stick to values, and Truthful. These steps maintain your self-respect during interpersonal interactions.

When do I need FAST? When you notice over-apologizing, agreeing to things against your values, being dishonest to avoid conflict, or being unfair to yourself.

Can I use FAST and GIVE together? Yes. GIVE maintains the relationship; FAST maintains self-respect. You can be gentle and validating while also being fair and honest.

What if sticking to my values causes conflict? Short-term conflict from authenticity is usually healthier than long-term resentment from betraying your values. FAST isn't rigidity—it's knowing your non-negotiables.