ABC PLEASE: Reducing Vulnerability

Most emotion regulation skills are about what you do when the wave hits. Check the facts, opposite action, problem solving—they're all reactive tools for managing emotions that are already happening.

ABC PLEASE is different. It's about making the waves smaller before they arrive.

If you keep finding yourself overwhelmed by emotions that seem disproportionate to the situation, or if your coping skills work sometimes but not others, the issue might not be the skills themselves. It might be the background level of vulnerability you're carrying into each day.

What ABC PLEASE Is

ABC PLEASE is the long-term emotion regulation strategy in DBT. It has two parts:

ABC — the behavioral components:

• Accumulate positive emotions (short-term and long-term)
• Build mastery
• Cope ahead

PLEASE — the physical components:

• Treat PhysicaL illness
• Balanced Eating
• Avoid mood-altering substances
• Balanced Sleep
• Exercise

Together, they address the conditions that make you more or less emotionally reactive on any given day. When your ABC PLEASE factors are in good shape, you can handle stressors that would otherwise flatten you. When they're depleted, even small challenges feel unmanageable.

This isn't about building a perfect life. It's about maintaining a minimum baseline that allows your other skills to function.

How to Practice ABC PLEASE

Accumulate Positive Emotions

This has two layers:

Short-term: Do pleasant things now. Not big, expensive things—small, accessible ones. A walk. A favorite meal. A conversation with someone you like. Music that makes you feel something good. The goal is to build a daily drip of positive experiences so you're not running on empty when stress hits.

People in emotional distress often stop doing pleasant things. They feel guilty about enjoyment, or too tired, or like nothing sounds appealing. That's exactly when this component matters most.

Long-term: Live according to your values. Identify what actually matters to you—not what you think should matter—and take steps toward those things. This might mean pursuing a meaningful goal, investing in important relationships, or making decisions that align with who you want to be.

Long-term accumulation is harder to practice daily, but it creates a sense of purpose that buffers against emotional volatility. See the full accumulate positive emotions page for more detail.

Build Mastery

Do one thing each day that makes you feel competent. It doesn't have to be impressive. Cooking a meal, finishing a work task, learning something new, organizing a drawer. The feeling of "I did that" counteracts the helplessness that amplifies emotional distress.

The key is matching difficulty to your current capacity. If you're in a depressive episode, making your bed is mastery. If you're doing well, tackle something harder. The skill is calibrated to where you are, not where you think you should be.

More on this at the build mastery skill page.

Cope Ahead

Identify upcoming situations that are likely to trigger strong emotions, and mentally rehearse how you'll handle them. This isn't just thinking "I'll use my skills"—it's walking through the specific situation in your mind, imagining the emotional response, and practicing your coping strategy as vividly as possible.

Family dinner where your critical parent will be there? Rehearse. Job interview that's making you anxious? Rehearse. Difficult conversation with a partner? Rehearse.

Cope ahead works because your brain doesn't fully distinguish between vivid rehearsal and actual experience. When the real situation arrives, the coping response is more accessible because you've already practiced it. Full details at the cope ahead page.

PLEASE

The physical foundation. Treat illness. Eat regularly. Limit substances. Sleep enough. Move your body. Each of these directly affects your emotional threshold. See the dedicated PLEASE skill page for specifics on each component.

When to Use ABC PLEASE

Always. That's the honest answer. ABC PLEASE isn't a crisis skill—it's a daily maintenance practice. You don't wait until your car breaks down to check the oil.

More specifically:

When you're stable and want to stay that way. ABC PLEASE is easiest to build during relatively calm periods. Use that stability to establish habits that protect you during harder times.

When you're recovering from a crisis period. After an intense emotional stretch, ABC PLEASE helps rebuild the reserves you burned through.

When your reactive skills keep failing. If check the facts and opposite action aren't working like they should, your vulnerability factors are probably elevated. Shore up your ABC PLEASE before blaming the skills.

When you feel "fine" but fragile. That state where things are okay but you know one bad day could unravel everything? That's an ABC PLEASE signal. Build the buffer before you need it.

Common Mistakes

Treating it as all-or-nothing. ABC PLEASE has eight components. Nobody maintains all eight perfectly. The goal is "good enough across most of them, most of the time." Perfectionism about self-care is still perfectionism.

Focusing only on PLEASE and ignoring ABC. Physical health is important, but accumulating positives, building mastery, and coping ahead address psychological vulnerability that sleep and exercise alone can't fix.

Ignoring it during good periods. When you feel fine, ABC PLEASE feels unnecessary. That's like stopping your medication because you feel better. The feeling better is partly because of the maintenance.

Making it another source of self-criticism. If tracking ABC PLEASE becomes a way to judge yourself for not doing enough, you've inverted the purpose. It's supposed to reduce distress, not add to it.

Skipping cope ahead because "I'll deal with it when it happens." That's what everyone says. And then the situation arrives, emotions spike, and the coping plan evaporates. Rehearsal matters.

Related Skills

ABC PLEASE is the umbrella. Its components each have their own depth:

• Accumulate Positive Emotions — building daily pleasant events and long-term values-based living
• Build Mastery — daily competence-building activities
• Cope Ahead — mental rehearsal for anticipated emotional situations
• PLEASE — the five physical vulnerability factors

These work alongside the reactive emotion regulation skills:

• Check the Facts — reality-testing emotional reactions
• Opposite Action — acting against emotion-driven urges
• Problem Solving — addressing situations where the emotion fits

For the full picture, see the emotion regulation guide. Track your daily ABC PLEASE practice on a diary card to spot patterns in what's working and what's slipping.

FAQ

See the questions above for detailed answers about ABC PLEASE, how it works, and where to start.