Self-Soothe Kit Worksheet

Q: What is self-soothe in DBT?

Self-soothe is a distress tolerance skill where you use your five senses to provide comfort during emotional distress. It's not about solving the problem—it's about making the moment more bearable so you can get through it without making things worse.

Q: How is self-soothe different from distraction?

Distraction shifts your attention away from the distress. Self-soothe keeps you present but adds comfort to the experience. Think of distraction as leaving the room and self-soothe as making the room more comfortable.

Q: Can self-soothe work for intense emotions?

For moderate distress (3-6 out of 10), self-soothe can be very effective on its own. For intense distress (7+), use TIPP skills first to bring the intensity down, then use self-soothe to maintain the lower level.

Q: What if I feel guilty about self-soothing?

Guilt about comfort is common, especially if you grew up in an environment where needs were minimized. Self-soothe is a clinical skill, not indulgence. It's a deliberate, evidence-based technique for managing distress.

This worksheet helps you build a personal self-soothe kit—a collection of sensory comforts organized by the five senses. The kit is something you prepare in advance and reach for during emotional distress, so you're not trying to think of comforting things when your brain is overwhelmed.

Self-soothe is a DBT distress tolerance skill. It works by engaging your senses in a way that provides genuine comfort, which lowers emotional intensity enough to get through a difficult moment without impulsive behavior.

How to Use This Worksheet

Fill this out during a calm moment. For each sense, identify 3-5 things that genuinely comfort you. Then assemble a physical kit you can access during distress.

Step 1: Vision — What do you find calming or beautiful to look at? Photos, nature scenes, a favorite art print, candle flames, a tidy space?

Step 2: Hearing — What sounds bring you comfort? Specific music, rain sounds, a particular person's voice, birds, white noise?

Step 3: Smell — What scents calm you? Lavender, coffee, a specific perfume, fresh laundry, citrus, eucalyptus?

Step 4: Taste — What flavors comfort you? Hot tea, dark chocolate, mint, a specific comfort food, cold water with lemon?

Step 5: Touch — What physical sensations soothe you? Soft blanket, warm bath, cool compress, petting an animal, hand massage?

Step 6: Assemble the kit. Put physical items in a box, bag, or designated drawer. Create a playlist or folder on your phone for the digital items. The goal is zero-effort access during distress.

Step 7: Rate and refine. After using items from your kit, rate how effective each one was (0-10). Over time, keep what works and replace what doesn't.

Filled-Out Example

Sense	Self-Soothe Items	Effectiveness
Vision	Photos of my dog on my phone. The view from my balcony. YouTube fireplace video.	Dog photos: 7/10. Balcony: 8/10 (weather permitting). Fireplace: 5/10.
Hearing	"Weightless" by Marconi Union on repeat. Rain sounds app. Voicemail saved from my grandmother.	Weightless: 8/10. Rain sounds: 6/10. Grandma's voicemail: 9/10 (but sometimes makes me cry—use with caution).
Smell	Lavender essential oil. Fresh coffee brewing. The perfume I wore on my best vacation.	Lavender: 7/10. Coffee: 6/10 (only works in the morning). Perfume: 8/10.
Taste	Peppermint tea. A single square of dark chocolate. Ice water with lemon.	Peppermint tea: 8/10. Chocolate: 7/10. Ice water: 6/10.
Touch	Heated blanket. Running cold water over my wrists. My cat sitting on my lap.	Heated blanket: 9/10. Cold water: 7/10. Cat: 10/10 (when cooperative).

My physical kit includes: Lavender oil, peppermint tea bags, a square of dark chocolate, and the heated blanket—all in my bedroom closet. Phone playlist bookmarked for the audio items.

Common Mistakes

Choosing items that sound nice but don't actually comfort you. Be honest about what works for your body, not what seems like it should work. If lavender does nothing for you, don't include it just because everyone else does.

Not assembling the physical kit. A list on paper is not a kit. The point is eliminating the effort of finding comfort during distress. If you have to search for the tea bags while you're crying, the barrier is too high.

Using only one sense. Engaging multiple senses at once is more effective than just one. Combine the heated blanket (touch) with the music (hearing) and the tea (taste/smell).

Confusing self-soothe with avoidance. Self-soothe is meant to be a temporary comfort during distress, not a way to avoid dealing with problems indefinitely. Use it to get through the acute moment, then address the underlying issue when you're calmer.

Digital Alternative

Your phone is always with you—making it the most reliable self-soothe tool you own. DBT Pal helps you organize your self-soothe strategies by sense, rate their effectiveness over time, and access them with one tap during distress.

Build your digital self-soothe kit in DBT Pal

Download DBT Pal

Related Worksheets

TIPP Skill Worksheet — Use TIPP first for high-intensity distress, then self-soothe to maintain
Distress Tolerance Worksheet — Complete crisis survival skills
PLEASE Skill Worksheet — Taking care of your body as a foundation for emotional resilience

For more on sensory comfort techniques, see DBT Self-Soothe Techniques. For printable worksheets, visit DBT Worksheets PDF Free.

FAQ

What is self-soothe in DBT? A distress tolerance skill where you use your five senses to provide comfort during emotional distress. It makes the moment bearable so you can get through it without making things worse.

How is self-soothe different from distraction? Distraction shifts your attention away from distress. Self-soothe keeps you present but adds comfort. Distraction is leaving the room; self-soothe is making the room more comfortable.

Can self-soothe work for intense emotions? For moderate distress (3-6/10), it works well alone. For intense distress (7+), use TIPP skills first to lower the intensity, then self-soothe to maintain.

What if I feel guilty about self-soothing? Self-soothe is a clinical skill, not indulgence. It's a deliberate technique for managing distress, supported by evidence. Comfort during pain is not a luxury.