DBT Phone Coaching Alternatives: Build Your Own Toolkit
DBT phone coaching is a lifeline when you can access it. But therapists often have limited hours, and group members might not have real-time support outside emergencies. Instead of white-knuckling it alone, create a toolkit that covers the same steps: assess safety, pick a skill, practice it, then debrief.
What Phone Coaching Provides
Typical phone coaching calls help you:
- Quickly describe what's happening without spiraling.
- Identify which DBT skill would help next.
- Commit to a tiny, effective action.
Any alternative should mirror that cadence while staying within your therapist's boundaries.
Toolkit Components
| Component | Purpose | How to Deploy |
|---|---|---|
| DBT Pal | Instant diary card + skill reminders | Log emotions/urges, tap the skill library, and note the plan you're committing to |
| DBT Crisis Kit | Printable + Notion plan for crises | Follow the 5-prompt checklist when intensity spikes, even offline |
| Therapist Agreements | Clarify when to reach out and how | Share your toolkit so they know what data they'll receive between sessions |
| Supportive Contact List | Peers or loved ones | Ask them to use the same language ("Which skill fits?") to stay aligned |
How to Use the Toolkit in Real Time
- Check safety. Use the crisis kit's first prompt to rate urgency. If you're unsafe, call local emergency services or crisis lines immediately.
- Log the urge inside DBT Pal so you have a timestamp and intensity.
- Choose a skill from the Suggested Actions widget or from the crisis kit flow.
- Set a two-minute timer to practice the skill without overthinking.
- Record what happened in the diary entry notes so you can review it later.
This mirrors what a coach would walk you through, but keeps you in the driver's seat.
Keep Your Therapist in the Loop
- Export your DBT Pal entries weekly and email or upload them before session.
- Share the crisis kit link so your therapist can comment or suggest edits.
- Debrief each self-coached incident so you can refine your next plan.
Let them know what type of outreach you will not attempt (e.g., texting at 3 a.m.) so boundaries stay respected.
Scenarios Where This Helps Most
- Therapist on vacation: run the same self-check sequence you would during coaching and note outcomes for later discussion.
- Time-zone mismatch: log the urge, follow the crisis kit, and send the exported entry so your therapist can respond asynchronously.
- Insurance limits: when coaching access ends but individual therapy continues, the toolkit keeps you practicing instead of pausing progress.
What This Approach Can't Replace
- Emergency support when you are in immediate danger.
- The nuance of a therapist helping you reframe a situation in real time.
- Long-form skills teaching. Continue attending skills group for that depth.
Think of the toolkit as scaffolding between sessions—not a replacement for clinical care.
Next Steps
- Duplicate the DBT Crisis Kit and print the PDF so it's easy to grab.
- Download DBT Pal and pin the widget on your home screen.
- Ask your therapist which data they want to see from exports so you can keep reporting consistently.
With these pieces in place, you have a repeatable alternative for moments when phone coaching isn't available, without losing the accountability and structure that make DBT effective. For more templates and scripts, check the DBT Pal Resources hub.